Just Peachy

I need to paint more. It's been over a year ago that I last painted, and I'm not quite sure why. Especially when one of the only ways for me to truly feel connected with myself is through painting. Painting is not just something I enjoy doing. It goes much, much deeper than that. Here is a journal entry I wrote a while back that explains more of what I mean:

Friday, February 8, 2013

Sometimes I'm afraid to create. Because when I create I am faced with myself. And for whatever reason that is a very vulnerable place to be in. When I paint, it's as if every fiber in my being becomes alive inside of me. It's as if I'm not the one creating strokes on paper, it's my soul pouring out the very essence of who I am. It's a place where I face the very existence of who I am. All outside influences fade and it's just me. Me connecting with who I am, with the soul that lives inside of me. It's my soul that yearns and desires to create and I tend to hold back. Why? What am I afraid of? Why do I trap my soul inside of me from creating, from being in existence. Fear of failure, maybe? But how can my soul fail? It can't. It is true and pure. My core, my essence. And how can that be wrong. I feel too often people forget that we have a soul, a being inside of us. And that people get lost in the world around them instead of connecting with what's inside of them. That they define themselves by society, culture, life events, other's influence. But I feel that there is a pureness, a part of someone, a being, a soul inside of everyone that has not been affected by anything or anyone. It is pure to the core of who we truly are. My soul is the artist in me and I need to stop holding it back...

But, also, painting is an outlet for me. A place I can go to rid myself from all of the noise around me. To just let go. focus. paint. be free. be me.

Anyway, this painting is a few years old (hence the poor photo quality). With it I wanted to capture the struggle between what's real and what's not. Like for instance, a peach is a real fruit made by nature. Yet, a painting is just a representation of a peach, so, rather, a fake peach. But then there is a real leaf and twig. Which is all surrounded by a man-made wire. It's late and I'm too tired to explain what I mean by all of this and what went behind this painting, so I will leave it up to your interpretation. Which is what art is all about, right? So you can take this as merely a pretty painting of a peach, or an ugly one. Or just a painting that your little sister could paint. But, to me it's a more than that. There is meaning to it that I hold dear to my heart and something that helped me get through a tough time of life. But, like I said, I will leave it up to your interpretation.

Goodnight :)